Braden Rowan ( Brady) Born 09/28/08

He is finally Here.

Braden Rowan ( Brady) was born at home Sunday 9/28/08 at 3:15pm Weighing 9 lbs and 8 ounces 21 inches long.

Labor began Saturday evening and I called for the Midwives at about 11:00 am Sunday Morning. It was very calm and relaxing. I chose not to have my water broken but to wait and Labor slowly on my own.

Around 2:15 I got into the pool. That relaxed me enough to progress things along pretty quickly. I then started getting Back Labor so David was great and pushed really hard on my back during the whole process

( which now is very sore but was heaven during delivery).

About an hour later I was ready to push and when the water broke he was born within 2min. Avery was the first to see his face in the water. (He also was the one to cut the cord).

The kids were amazing, As I knew they would be. It was the most challenging thing I have ever and probably will ever do in my life but as tough as it was, I felt so empowered and just almost euphoric after he came out. I have said that when he was placed into my arms that I heard harps in my head (LOL) I have never felt so good as I did at that moment.

David and I were so pleased with how it all happened. It was perfect and was more fulfilling then even we thought it would be.

Thank God for my incredible Husband for knowing exactly what I needed at the very moment I needed it the most. my kids that were just as in amazement as we were of the whole miracle of life. To my wonderful Midwives that did everything the way we wanted it. To Brady for coming out as quickly as possible and coming on the most perfect day ever.

and To God for seeing me worthy enough to have given me everything I could ever dream of.

I have an overwhelming feeling of missing my grandmother. I think because something amazing is happening and I want to share it with her.
she was always happy for me when good things happen. There for me when I needed her the most. As a child she was the only Adult person ( that lived close to us ) that showed me Love and would tell me I was worthy of it.

When she was dying, as I was there for her, She was still comforting me. she was not perfect but she was good to me and my kids and really that's all that is important.

She taught me something really valuable about people, What you say means nothing but when something happens and you need help. Who was there and who wasn't! People will show you who they are so pay attention because those are the moments that really count.

I wish I could have her here, I feel like I need her. But I know that she is with me, I feel her. When I am holding my new baby boy in my arms, I will feel her watching and Loving me.

New Life is coming, yet reality is the same.

Hormonal feelings lead to questions
I already know the answser to.

Makes you want to open your heart
to undeserving.

Seeing things that are not there.
only cure is our new life that
lives in me.

I ask why to things that I don't understand.
but I do know why, makes it worse somehow.

Blood is not thicker, only True Love can servive, when it is worthy.

I have Love, Not the Love God
intended at birth but unconditional Love that grows still.

Never put your faith in others, Sad but they will always fail you. I promise to stop asking why they don't have Love and be sad for them because they can't.

New Life is coming and only true Love will bare witness. We will not share this blessed time with you. That is my gift to him. only Love will surround him.

the thoughts of sorrow and Loss and what never will be.
will be replaced with fellings of Love and Thanks for our blessings and good fortune.

WE HAVE POWER! 9/20/08

Yippee! We finally have power. Sunday was a little scary, we (David and I ) had to go out back and try to unmangle our gazebo from the fence before it took off and hurt someone or flew into their house. we were thrown into the fence and have some cuts and bruises and damage to the house and fence but we are ok for the most part and thankful for that.

The first night was ok, the kids thought it was great. they camped out downstairs and did not have school the next day. as the days progressed they were really bored and the library was also closed so that would have been our pass time of choice. Thank goodness we had a generator for most of the week. we celebrated my 33rd Birthday in the dark but I have not enjoyed them much since turning 30 so this just added to the dislike.

To add another Stress to all of this was that we were afraid the baby would decide to come early and no power! but it is now Saturday and our power is on and we are ready now Baby, when ever you are!!!

Home Visit 9/09/08

The Midwives came for their Home visit On Monday to check out the Birth pool and Kit. We wanted to make sure that everything was put up properly and that we were not missing anything.

We got the green light and are ready to go, whenever this little one wants to make his appearance.

The kids are so excited and just are really anxious for him to come. Avery asks me everyday if I feel OK or if I feel any different today!
Grace and Abby kiss my belly and tell him to come out and play. I tell the kids that he will come on the best day possible, The day of his Birthday and only him and God know when that is. ( but I am really anxious too ).

I want everything to be perfect but I really don't know how many more times I can mop my floor or scrub my toilet. I know that this is my 4Th baby and not my 1st but I think I am more excited this time then ever, the first time, you have the added stress of not knowing what to expect and you second guess everything. This time not only do I get to feel my own joy but that of my husband and the kids as well and anyone who truly enjoy their children know what I mean when I say, your kids excitement truly makes everything more enjoyable .

We do know what this little Angel will be called and Have told a select few but I will save it from the Blog until after his Birth.

Who knows maybe my next entry will be to announce his Birth.

Peanut's First Day.

My Nephew Anthony ( AKA Peanut ) Started his first day at the new school and I'm very excited for him.

It is so hard to believe he is almost 17 years old, I look at him and I know he is all grown up but when I think of Peanut I still see him as this little boy with curls in the back of his head.

He will most likely want to kill me when he See's this but I am so happy for him and I know he will do so well at the school and we are all proud of you Peanut!

Asking for Prayers

I am asking for prayers for my cousin and her family. She spent last year and part of this year fighting melanoma. She had surgery to remove a mole, surrounding tissue, and some lymph nodes that were affected. Then she went through 11 months of drug therapy that left her 30 pounds lighter, extremely low on energy and thinned her hair.

She had a full body scan in April which showed a spot on her lung. Since that time she has had a few more tests. The results of her most recent lung scan were not good. The spot on her lung has enlarged. She went for a needle biopsy of the spot on Tuesday and the results were positive.
The melanoma has spread to her lungs. Melanoma is a very aggressive form of cancer. In just 18 weeks the spot on her lungs grew from the size of a pencil point to the size of a dime. Surgery, chemo and radiation will not help. There is an experimental drug study which may open up in the next few weeks and they are going to apply for it. It could be weeks or it could be years. It really just depends on the individual.

She is 47 and by far is one of the sweetest people I know.


Please keep her and her family in your thoughts and prayers.

35 Weeks

I can't Believe how fast it has gone this time. We picked up the Birthing pool today and I have the birth kit together so I guess were just waiting for him to make his appearance.

The kids are so excited and are really anxious for him to come. Grace thinks we can talk to him and convince him that it is time. She is so cute, she just wants to hold him and rock him to sleep.

I of course just hope it happens with the kids already home ( weekend would be great ) So we don't have to rush to pick them up from school.

All of the kids have important jobs to do at the birth so there is no way their missing it. ( they would be devastated ) Avery is really excited, he has the very important job of cutting the cord after he knows all of the blood gets to the baby. ( he is very series about this to and has asked all of the necessary questions.) I am so lucky to have really great kids that are just so into this and not concerned or nervous at all and I know we will all be so happy we did this and it will bring the kids even closer to each other and will give them a special bond with their new baby brother.

First Day of School 8/19/08

Today could have been really sad and lonely with the kids back at school. Avery started 3rd grade, Abby 1st ( full day ) It's just Grace and I till the baby comes. Grandma and Grandpa asked to take Grace today since the big kids would be gone and Gracie I know will miss them like crazy. David took the day off so that he could be with me and maybe I wouldn't be so sad with all of the kids gone today.

David and I went to lunch and did some shopping, It really did help because by time I picked up Grace and got home it was time to get the kids.

Avery and Abby said they Loved school and have made many new friends along with the old friends from last year, It is always a relief when they come home from school happy. All of our children are very social and not afraid to speak there mind. ( Not that they had a chance since David and I are both very verbal and opinionated ) I think it is crucial today for our children to be not only kind and compassionate but to also believe in themselves and fight for what is right. As long as they do that, they will do well in their life and I will always be here to cheer them on and Of course count the minutes till they come home. LOL

Visit at our house with Bobby,Hailey,Bailey,D.J, Peanut,Cayden, Susi and Bill.

Cayden Loved Piglet so he took it home.

After several hours of play they Passed out.

Bill and Cayden

You think he gets his picture taken much?

I'm going to suck your blood!

Hailey and Cayden

The Girls fell in Love with Hailey.

Avery teaching Cousin Hailey how to play the guitar, It really looked like she was paying attention!

Bunny Park

Bailey and Cayden

My friend Angelita's little girl Lily

Avery and D.J

Bailey,Grace,Abby,Avery And D.J

Bailey,Grace, Avery,Rusty,Abby and D.J

Things I have learned.

I've Learned That:
* Somethings you do in an instant, Can give you heartache for
Lifetime.
* It's taken me a long time to become the person I want to be.
* You can keep going even after you can't.
* The good you do will be forgotten tomorrow.
* We are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.
* Regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first,
When the lust fades there had better be something else in it's place.
* Hero's are people who do what needs to be done, regardless of the
consequences.
* Money is a lousy way of keeping score.
* My husband and I can do anything or nothing and still have the
best time.
* Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to,
doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.
* Maturity has more to do with what you've learned from life
experiences and less to do with how many Birthday's you've
celebrated.
* You're family wont always be there for you,Sometimes it takes a
complete stranger to show you compassion.
* Our past and life circumstances may influence who we are but only
we are responsible for who we become.
* You shouldn't be so eager to know everything, What you find out
could change your life forever.
* just because 2 people argue, doesn't mean they don't love each
other. Just because they don't argue doesn't mean they do.
* Your life can change in a moment by someone you've never even
met.

Random Thoughts

I feel so big This week, The baby is very high and when he stretches out I feel like he is climbing out of my throat.
I have been having contractions for the last few weeks which really freaks people out but I get dehydrated very easily and that among other things send me into false labor. This is my forth baby and I have dilated early for all of them, so I am not worried.

As it is getting closer and closer to Birth Day, I am slowly trying to get everything together that we need for the babies arrival. After Grace ,we
Gave away or tossed out all of our big items like the swing, high chair, bouncy etc It was all outdated and worn out. Most was broken or just didn't work any longer. Well They did go through a lot with our first three children and were also borrowed out to friends and family.
I am just going to buy what I really need, ( Everything is so cute that it is hard to not get it all ) David wants to buy everything and I just can't see spending that much. If this was are first child I could justify the price because you know it will be used many more times, But this is our forth and I just can't do it. ( David Say's in his awful baby voice: poor baby bean, his Momma wont buy him a new swing ) AR AR AR! Not funny!

On a different note: I spoke with my Grandfather recently ( long pause ) exhale. This is such a hard situation. My Grandmother is in the hospital and has had a lot of health issue's lately, I Have not seen them both in quite sometime and I just wanted them to know that I was thinking of them both and Love them very much. Speaking to him reminded me that You don't have to be apart of someones everyday life to have love for them. You don't even have to be able to explain why you love them. you Love them just because you do! Sometimes it really is OK to just step back and say, I just need a break from everything that's going on and it's OK to not always make the right decision or do the smartest thing. People that Love you will Love you regardless of what other's say or any error's in judgement I might make. You can't force yourself to Love right? either there's Love or there isn't I guess it really is that simple.
It was a very nice conversation. My Grandparents are good people and they have always been kind to me my whole life no matter what ( and to my Husband and children ) I will always have nothing but Love and respect for them both.

Grace's 3rd Birthday.

Grace's Birthday was so much fun and busy busy. For months she has been telling everyone that will listen, that her birthday is coming up and she is going to build a bear. So you can only imagine how excited she was the morning of her birthday.

She woke up and came into my room. ( I pretended to still be sleeping ),

She climbed up on the bed and pried open my eyes and said Good Morning Mommy, today is my Birthday! I tell her she is the most beautiful 3 year old I have ever seen.

****Here are some pictures of Grace at build a bear and A video of her birthday cake. The cake started out as a beautiful ice cream cake with blue frosting and colored balloons ( as Grace requested and picked out.) Well I guess when I put the cake in the deep freezer the big bag of ice also in the freezer prevented it from closing all the way. Thank goodness the cake wasn't ruined but it was quite a bit shorter and we had to use a spoon to eat it but Grace loved it and never even noticed the difference.

We just chucked it up to one of those things that happen and we will look back on and laugh. Today will be a memorable one , Now for many reasons.

Happy Birthday Big Girl!

Flashback Video of Grace

Grace is turning 3

My Baby is turning 3 this week. I can't believe how fast the time has gone.

Here are some flash back pictures of my big girl!

4th of July

We spent 4th of July with Family. A cookout at Cousin Bonnie's and Fireworks at Aunt Betsy and Uncle Bill's.

We had such a great time and the kids loved spending time with their cousins. Aunt Betsy bought all the kids nets to catch lighting bugs, The kids really had a blast and have been using them everynight since.

Here are just a few pictures of our day.

Abby's Dance Recital 6/21/08

These are pictures of Abby in her costumes, ( the professional pictures are not in yet ) The girls were so cute. The rehearsal, I thought was long enough but boy That was nothing compared to the actual rehearsal.

since I saw the whole performance for rehearsal, I spent the whole night in the back with Abby and Grace. I came out into the audience when Abby preformed then would run back after. It was so so long That we were all really tired and thankful when it was over but wow, what a memory for David and I. ( Abby Loved every minute of it. )

Avery's Blue Mohawk

Well it's that time again, Avery's Summer Mohawk. Normally I let him have it till Bible school starts but this year I let him keep it longer since there were so many other kids at church with one. This picture is right before his Game and It just happens to be blue to match his team colors.

All that team spirit paid off because he played awesome that night and got the winning game ball.

Potty Trained 6/01/08

Well, Potty training was so easy the first two times I thought for sure Grace would be a nightmare.

This is how it went, I bought Grace new Dora panties and I very casually said to her, When you are ready to wear big girl panties let Mommy know and I will take you to the potty. I Showed her the attachment I hooked to the big Potty and she said ok Mommy. That whole day she did not say a word. The next morning I woke up to use the restroom and to my very happy surprise, Grace is sitting on the potty. That was it, from that point on she has been going in the potty everytime. It has been so easy all three times and I have really heard horrible stories of potty training from other parents but I think what has worked for us is that I wait till they are ready and most important is not to use pull ups ( They are really just expensive Diapers ). We are so proud of her and she is just so grown up about it, She say's the diapers are for Baby Bean when he comes out of momma's Belly.

Above is a picture of Grace helping Daddy. We are remodeling all of our bathrooms floor to ceiling. The kid's wanted to help with everything.