Random Thoughts

I feel so big This week, The baby is very high and when he stretches out I feel like he is climbing out of my throat.
I have been having contractions for the last few weeks which really freaks people out but I get dehydrated very easily and that among other things send me into false labor. This is my forth baby and I have dilated early for all of them, so I am not worried.

As it is getting closer and closer to Birth Day, I am slowly trying to get everything together that we need for the babies arrival. After Grace ,we
Gave away or tossed out all of our big items like the swing, high chair, bouncy etc It was all outdated and worn out. Most was broken or just didn't work any longer. Well They did go through a lot with our first three children and were also borrowed out to friends and family.
I am just going to buy what I really need, ( Everything is so cute that it is hard to not get it all ) David wants to buy everything and I just can't see spending that much. If this was are first child I could justify the price because you know it will be used many more times, But this is our forth and I just can't do it. ( David Say's in his awful baby voice: poor baby bean, his Momma wont buy him a new swing ) AR AR AR! Not funny!

On a different note: I spoke with my Grandfather recently ( long pause ) exhale. This is such a hard situation. My Grandmother is in the hospital and has had a lot of health issue's lately, I Have not seen them both in quite sometime and I just wanted them to know that I was thinking of them both and Love them very much. Speaking to him reminded me that You don't have to be apart of someones everyday life to have love for them. You don't even have to be able to explain why you love them. you Love them just because you do! Sometimes it really is OK to just step back and say, I just need a break from everything that's going on and it's OK to not always make the right decision or do the smartest thing. People that Love you will Love you regardless of what other's say or any error's in judgement I might make. You can't force yourself to Love right? either there's Love or there isn't I guess it really is that simple.
It was a very nice conversation. My Grandparents are good people and they have always been kind to me my whole life no matter what ( and to my Husband and children ) I will always have nothing but Love and respect for them both.